If I Could
by KyokoDreamer
Summary: Hi guys! Well, with Christmas coming up, I decided to write a 'Christmas build-up' story, based around Charles Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol! I haven't set this fic as a crossover - if you think I should, please let me know! This is a DouWata fic - hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

**If I Could**

**Hi guys! I've been a xxxHolic fan for a really long time now but I've never written a fanfic! :O I was shocked at this and set at it right away! :P Well, with Christmas coming up, I decided to write a 'Christmas build-up' story, based around Charles Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol'! I haven't set this fic as a crossover - if you think I should, please let me know! ^^ This is a DouWata fic by the way! Hope you like it; please read and review if you have the time! Let's Wondering! Kyoko xxx **

Chapter 1

_"You will be visited by three ghosts."_

_"I think I'd rather not."_

_(Jacob Marley and Ebenezer Scrooge; A Christmas Carol)_

Kimihiro Watanuki wished he could say that he lived a simple pleasant life. He wished he could say that he worried about trivial things such as exam results and friendship dramas. He wished he could say he knew what he would do when he got older, like all the others in his class. He wished and he wished and yet still the fact remained that he couldn't. And never would be able to so long as he was of this world.

He sighed, relaxing into the sole chair in his front room. The room was darker than it normally was, such was the way things were in Winter and he complained to himself as usual about the lack of light given out by the naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. It was cold too - a wretched Winter this year, and he wrapped his dressing gown tighter around himself, grumbling loudly before flicking the small room heater on too. He felt the room slowly begin to heat up and settled down comfortably, glancing down at the pages of a cooking catalogue, dog earing pages of things he wanted and moaning about how he couldn't afford them.

"Oh well..." he mumbled, "It's not like I have the time to use them - Yuuko's always overworking me. She's so selfish sometimes!" Clearly, he'd forgotten that she'd given him the night off today because that's just the kind of generous giving spirit she has. Yuuko, please let me continue the narration.

Anyway, Watanuki continued poring over the pages, looking longingly at all the objects and the many ingenious processes they accomplished. Suddenly he felt a chill, something not uncommon in this weather, but given his predicament in life the spirit-seer quickly knew that whatever it was was not of this world. He shrunk low into his seat, hoping it would give up and go away - not that they ever usually did. 'Please just go away...' He prayed silently.

All of a sudden he found himself in darkness. He screamed loudly and girlishly, leaping from his chair and backing out towards the door. He felt two long thin arms wrap around him and before he knew what was happening he was being dragged backwards. "Help!" he cried out, "Get off!"

But all that greeted him was emptiness. And then:

"Watanuki-kun!"

The room was illuminated by an eerie white glow and Watanuki tried desperately to turn his head to see his attacker. And then he saw her.

There was something very Yuuko-like about her and yet something very not-Yuuko too, but he couldn't place either of these things. She was tall an thin, but with large breasts that he could feel pushing up against his back as she embraced him tightly. She had long white hair that fluttered serenely around her pale milky skin, casting the light across the room. She had two wide purple eyes that glinted like a cat's at his own blue orbs. She was definitely a spirit of some kind... What he didn't know was what she was doing here and why she was hugging him!

"Who are you?! What are you doing?!" Watanuki yelled, waving his arms around wildly.

"You... You don't remember me?" she released him suddenly, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

He looked at her guiltily, "Um, I'm really-"

She giggled, "Oh wait, of course you don't - we've never met!"

He groaned in despair. Yep, she was Yuuko-like alright - she was already driving him crazy. They could have been sisters. While the young man busied himself with his cruel and highly inaccurate thoughts- Yuuko! Stop it!

Sorry readers; I really shouldn't have allowed Yuuko to sit in on the write up.

"But I've been watching you!" the girl repeated excitedly.

Watanuki widened his eyes, alarmed.

"Uh-huh, yep, full on stalker style! So I know you very well..." She slowly edged closer to him and he backed away afraid.

"I know all your secrets...! Mm-hm, I know everything...!" She leant over him, grinning playfully. "So I suggest you do as I say!"

All light left in the room, only the little light from the window and the glow from the girl herself, suddenly diminished. Watanuki shivered with fear; this was a spirit unlike any other...

"Um, hello...?" he whispered hoarsely.

And then she was back. Standing in the doorway, arms folded across her chest, her glowing hair streaming out behind her spookily. "Tonight you will be visited by three spirits."

Watanuki was crouched up on the floor still, back pressed up against the wall. "I'd really rather not...!" he whimpered.

She ignored him, continuing with "The ghost of Christmases Past, Present and Future."

He raised a hand nervously.

"What?"

"Um, aren't they coming a little early...? It's November..."

"Look, if you're not preparing for Christmas already you're an idiot. No one wants to be caught in the last minute shopping rush." she stated matter-of-factly.

"Um... That's... true I suppose..." he responded hesitantly.

"Well Watanuki." she beamed, hair relaxing and dropping to meet her slender sides.

"I hope you'll see the error of your ways." There was a loud crack, like the snapping of wood fragments in a fire, all alighting at once, so loud it burst his eardrums. And so she was gone. And he could scarcely even move.


	2. Chapter 2

**If I Could**

**Welcome back everyone! I have another chapter here - a really short one; my apologies about that! But don't worry, I do believe it was necessary and there are many longer ones to come! I hope you enjoy this chapter all the same; please read and review if you have the time! Let's Wondering! Kyoko xxx**

Chapter 2

_"Who, and what are you?"_

_"I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."_

_"Long past?"_

_"No. Your past."_

_(Ebenezer Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past; A Christmas Carol)_

Watanuki had watched more late-night TV than he'd ever be able to stomach again. Midnight was fast approaching and sleep draped its stifling form over him; he resisted the temptation to allow his eyelids to snap shut. He shook his head wearily - "Don't give in Watanuki... They can't come if you don't fall asleep." he coached himself aloud, trying to convince himself that he was wide awake, and this crippling exhaustion meant nothing...

Nothing...

Nothing...

He heard the chiming of a clock - loud and echoey and he clasped his hands over his ears tightly. He realised he must have fallen asleep, and cursed himself inwardly, leaping from his chair. The chides continued, deafening him and filling the room with their overbearing tone. Once, twice, three times...

It was now that the boy began to panic, the emotion crushing him, and drowning him in his thoughts. "I don't even have a grandfather clock...!" he screeched. Four, five, six times...

"How long was I asleep?" he wondered aloud, eyeing the window nervously. Rain lashed against the fragile panes of glass and lightning cracked across the pitch black sky, illuminating Watanuki's front room every few moments, before stranding it in darkness once more. Still the clock toll taunted him - seven, eight, nine times...

"Please!" he begged, "So I fell asleep - I woke up again before midnight - I did, I did! It doesn't count, please!" he cried, collapsing onto his hands an knees in the middle of the floor. He wished he had someone, anyone, with him. He wished he had...! Ten, eleven, twelve times...

Silence.

Watanuki could feel the lump in his throat threatening to block his windpipe and his stomach was turning over and over in his gut. He parted the fingers of one sweaty hand, allowing an eye to peek out from his foetal position on the floor. He gulped, looking up at at the undeniable form of whatever had come for him - the absence of light made it impossible to identify but whatever it was was most certainly there.

"Good evening idiot. I trust you've been expecting me?"


	3. Chapter 3

**If I Could**

**Hey guys, I'm back! Sorry that it's taken so long to update but I promise that this story will be finished by Christmas! The next few chapters should follow pretty quickly and thanks to everybody who's already reading - please stay with me guys because I'm really enjoying writing this! I guess that's all I've got to say so goodbye for now! As always, please read and review if you have the time! Let's Wondering! Kyoko xxx**

Chapter 3

_"What! Would you so soon put out, with worldly hands, the light I give? Is it not enough that you are one of those whose passions made this cap, and force me through whole trains of years to wear it low upon my brow?" _

_(The Ghost of Christmas Past; A Christmas Carol)_

Watanuki shuddered. He knew that voice, and the very sound of it had him quivering with fear. "Uh, hi Ame-Warashi..." he whispered meekly.

She was blunt as usual and skipped the smalltalk: "Are you planning to lie there all day? Only we're kinda on a tight schedule."

He got up agitatedly, wiping invisible specks of dust off his knees out of habit. Well, this wasn't so bad; Ame-Warashi was pretty scary but she wouldn't hurt him like a big ugly spirit undoubtedly would. She was scowling at him, both hands on her hips, and her stance firm and threatening. Her red hair formed two symmetrical crimson spirals on either side of her head, the only thing altering the mirrored appearance of her costume was a black lace-trimmed umbrella that swung from her right arm. "So," he began, "Tonight you are...?"

"Well for the next few hours, to all intents and purposes I am the Ghost of Christmas Past." Watanuki felt a chill in the air as she said that, but passed it off as just his imagination. He had no doubt that what was happening to him now was real but he just couldn't understand what it was about. He knew the story of 'A Christmas Carol' – Ebenezer Scrooge is a mean crotchetty old man who'd developed a hatred for Christmas; he was then visited by three spirits in an attempt to make him change his ways. It was a good story, a favourite of his ironically, but try as he may he could not see a comparison between him and Scrooge. Okay, maybe he could be a little short-tempered with people sometimes but he certainly wasn't stingy – every penny he had bought himself the mere essentials and then the rest went to other people; whether it went towards cookies for Himewari, extra hangover medication for Yuuko, or lunch for Doumeki. He never even begrudged this either – for the most part, Watanuki considered himself a good person. He didn't even really mind that some of his money went towards feeding that uncivilised cretin Doumeki... In fact, if he was honest, he didn't mind that at all. He shook his head disparagingly, he liked cooking, that was all it was. It wasn't about how much he liked to see the other enjoying it or anything... He just liked to cook, that was all.

He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice the girl clearing her throat impatiently. "Hey! Watanuki!"

He snapped out of it instantly, firing his question at her, "Ame-Warashi, why am I doing all this?"

She looked at him incredulously, "If you don't even know that yet, then you're an even bigger idiot than I thought."

He glared at her angrily and she just stared back, unintimidated. "Well, shall we get going already?" she asked, though it sounded like more of a statement than an enquiry. She opened out the umbrella dramatically, the loud woosh of air it generated filling the room. She pointed it at the window and both frames busted open with a bang.

"Hey! Will you be careful?! That's my-" His speech ended abruptly as she yanked him by his wrist to where she floated just below the ceiling. One of her pale hands gripped the handle of her accessory, and as a gust of wind rushed to meet with the underside of the material, Watanuki found himself flying out of the window with her.

His fear shocked a series of unintelligible noises out of him and he tried not tolook down. Too late – he could see just how high up they were; the city below them looked like just a child's model, and the clouds were so close he could touch them. The stars were practically eye level and the moon felt like it was just an arm's length away. "Oh yeah," his guide smirked, "If I were you, I'd try not to let go."


End file.
